Today I Realised....

Today I realised I am afraid!
Afraid that life will pass me by and I will not have achieved my dreams or goals! Sure I have achieved a lot in the years that I've been old enough to make a difference! But those were never my dreams or goals!

Today I realised I am scared!
Scared I will never be the best that I can possibly be! Scared that one day I will wake up and say 'What have I done with my life!?'

Today I realised I am not Miss Perfect!
I am not she because she is a figment of my imagination! A woman who's perfection is unsurpassable!

Today I realised I lack faith!
My faith in God has never been questionable, but I find my self questioning his ability to answer the questions I lay before him! My faith is others dies with every lie or untruth that is told to me!

Today I realised I have cried enough!
My eyes hurt; I’m tired of the tears!

Today I realised my life is real!
Real because the over whelming pain and joy that I feel is not one a fictitious character could ever feel!

Today I realised I lack trust!
I do not trust you; don't ask me why, I just don't! You lie; don't say you don't because that in itself is a lie, and a justification for my lack of trust in you!

Today I realised I am me!
Me because there is no other person who feels the things I feel, no other person who thinks the thoughts I do! No other person whose imperfections shape them the way mine shape me! No other person can love the way I can, no other person can forgive the way I do! No other person can be me, the way I'm me!

Originally written on 11th August 2006

Why?

...Send me an invite when you just know I'm going to turn it down!? - And then, when I do, have a go at me! Like seriously!? Why the need for the drama!? If you knew what my answer was going to be, why bother in the first place!

I'm SO not in a good mood!

Wettin be dis!?

Being that I'm a British born Nigerian, whos parents speak pidgin English near enough everyday, I was shocked and amazed when I watched this video!

Mehn I dey jealous him! My own Pidgin English is SO limited it's not even laughable!

Anyway enjoy the clip.

...I'll be back after this short intermission (",)

A Fools Day!

It's April 1st, which can only mean one thing! Its APRIL FOOLS day! (Did you get the double meaning in that?! Did ya, did ya!? LOL) *ok so that was a lame attempt :'( I'm sorry, I promise to do better*

I've never really played an April fools prank before, not even when I was in school and this year I'm tempted! But what should I do and to whom?

Hmmm decisions, decisions!

...I'll be back after this short intermission (",)

I want that Simpson's watch!

Kid Cudi

I SO want Kid Cudi's watch! Tell me where you got it this instant boy! LOL

This time I mean it!

I've been meaning to make a blog post in like FOREVER, and had even planned on doing a review of the movie 'Notorious'; I just haven't had the time!

So again I apologise for my lack of posts! But be on the look out for that Biggie review and some other new random thoughts! - The blog-bug is definately back! ;o)

...I'll be back after this short intermission (",)

To My Valentine

So yesterday was Valentine's Day, and I spent it doing absolutely NOTHING!! - My day was perfect!

I'm not a huge believer in the whole show your love on one particular day, but I must admit that it is nice when you are made to feel special on February 14th!

As woman on her quest to find true love, and I believe it's out there, as I'm a true romantic, plus having witnessed my grandparents love and devotion first hand, and watched my sisters' 17 year relationship and marriage blossom, I honestly believe that it is possible and refuse to settle for anything less!

Sure I've kissed many a frog on my search for my Prince, but during my search I got a little distracted, fantasied about a relationship that meant more to me than what I would like to admit!

Is it possible to forsake true happiness for a dream that is unobtaianble? AND how easy is it for us to get SO caught up in our fantasy that we forgo our reality, and at what time do we tell ourselves to snap out of it?

For me that time has arrived, I'm nearly 30 and I want that fairytale; you know the one, house, a kid, a husband! We've all read the book, you know what I'm saying! So it's time to be pro-active, but how does one go about finding 'The One' when 'The One' has been seemingly found, albeit a fantasy?

Answers on a postcard, or if you prefer leave me a comment, in today's economy it's cheaper! LOL

...I'll be back after this short intermission! (",)